Change The Dialogue Of Race

There is a difference between race and ethnicity. Let's define the two according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

•   Race 1: a family, tribe, people or nation of the same stock

          2: a group of individuals within a biological species able to breed together

          3: a category of humankind that shares certain distinctive physical traits

•   Ethnic 1: of or relating to races of large groups of people classed according to common traits and customs

             2: a member of a minority ethnic group who retains its customs, language, or social views

In my opinion, the term African-American describes an ethnic group not race. People from African countries aren’t exclusively black. Let's be clear; I’m not trying to denounce or obliterate my African ancestry. But for all intensive purposes when describing my race (skin color), I will refer to myself as black, not African-American. 

Race is often an uncomfortable conversation, especially among whites and blacks. Yet, it's a necessary one. How are we to begin to tackle issues such as: police brutality, mass incarceration of blacks, equality in classrooms, war on poverty, disproportionate number of unemployed blacks and a myriad of other matters if we can’t candidly speak about race. As Jay Smooth so eloquently puts it, “We are dealing with a social construct that was not born out of any science or reason or logic, we are grappling with a social construct that was not designed to make sense.” Race is an ambiguous social construct therefore the conversation will never be perfect. Perfection shouldn't be the goal. 

When discussing race, we should focus not on individual-level racism but the ramifications of systemic racism. Systemic racism umbrellas institutional racism and structural racism. As Joseph F. Healey stated in the Second Edition of Diversity and Society: Race, Ethnicity, and Gender; “Discrimination and racial inequality are apart of our national heritage, and along with equality, freedom, and justice- prejudice and racism are among our oldest values. Minority group issues penetrate every aspect of society.” It’s the social duty of EVERYONE to revise the racial discourse. Please, check out the video below and download: Race Reporting Guide 

VH1's "LHH: Out in Hip Hop"

I watched VH1's, "LHH: Out in Hip Hop" Monday night. The special TV segment was moderated by ABC News' T.J. Homes. Watch it here: "LHH: Out in Hip Hop."

It was an eye-opening program; one I feel is worth the watch. I’m a heterosexual black female, and I won’t pretend to understand the LGBT community fully. But there’s a difference between understanding and accepting. You can accept something without fully understanding and vice versa. Also, understanding and acceptance can be in union or discord. 

I am the daughter of Jamaican immigrants who came to the United States in the late seventies (father) and late eighties (mother). Jamaican culture and values are an intrinsic part of who I am. Raised in a relatively religious household, I believed being gay was a sin. As a child gays weren't celebrated. I didn’t understand what it meant to be gay until the 7th grade when some of my peers started having same-sex relationships. Even then I was confused.

While attending college I accumulated a number of friends who are gay. This challenged many of my beliefs. It saddened me; some couldn’t share aspects of their lives with their families in fear of shame and disownment. I won’t debate whether a person is born gay or chooses to be gay. I don’t know. Yet, I see gay tendencies in a lot of young children. Although, I would never want to place labels on a child. We are who we are as people. I can’t be condemned for being black. I can’t do anything about my blackness. I was born this way. I agree with Zora Neale Hurston:

“But I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. I do not mind at all. I do not belong to the sobbing school of Negrohood who hold that nature somehow has given them a lowdown dirty deal and whose feelings are all but about it. Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more of less. No, I do not weep at the world--I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.” 

Let's apply the same ideology to the LGBT community. It is no great travesty to be you. I can’t fathom what it must feel like to have such a conflict with self and question my sexual identity and sexual orientation.

Anti-gay hatred is a self-fulfilling prophecy. People may begin to hate themselves and thereby become vulnerable to different circumstances and diseases. I think of it like this, if people hate me and I don’t have the highest esteem I might start to hate myself. Therefore, I won’t care what happens to me. I will have unprotected sex because who cares? Why should I protect the body that contains my spirit? I am now at risk to contracting a series of different STDs.

We shouldn't marginalize a person for whom they love, especially those in the black community. There is enough oppression. Let's not further segregate the black community based on sexual preference. Judgment is any should be contingent on the content of character.

I am proud because I witness change. It may not be profound but it's a start. Conversations with my parents have changed. They like me have called into question their theologies. You can teach old dog new tricks if they are still willing to learn. 

The Age of Hook-Up Culture

What happened to '90s R&B love? I remember listening to artists like Brian McKnight, Ginuwine, Boyz II Men, Whitney Houston, Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Jodeci, etc. and crying.  I was a child; I didn’t know of romantic love. But their music made me want to experience it. I craved the love you had to feel to sing like that.

Those songs made me want the pain of heartache, the joy of ecstasy and fulfillment, and the mind-numbing confusion of misplaced love. I didn't know the words to articulate these feelings. I still have a hard time. Regardless, I wanted to be the inspiration behind the music. Please, don't think I'm lovesick and dream of cotton candy, flowerbeds, pink clouds and fairy dust. Ok, I sometimes do.

We live in the age of hook-up culture. Let's define hooking up. I used to think if people hooked up, it meant they had sex. I was wrong. Hooking up can include or is not limited to kissing, sexual intercourse, and oral sex. While this isn't a new phenomenon, it seems more embraced today.

I’m not opposed to hookups. What goes on between two consenting adults is none of my business. We should support lifestyle choices. Therefore, give respect to those who choose not to participate in hooking up. Don't judge someone for NOT wanting to do something. 

It seems to me people are running for the hills when it comes to relationships. I will have to agree with Drake, “We live in a generation of not being in love and not being together.” But perhaps it’s the opposite maybe people do want intimate relationships but can't find the person who wants the same and the result is hooking up. Hey, a warm body is still a body right? Perhaps, both these theories are wrong, and people just want sex.

I’m not sure what the reason is for this trend. It may be due to personal choices or external pressures. I won’t claim to have the answers.

Disclaimer: Interestingly, the term hook-up has different meanings in different cultures. When a black person says, “We are going to hook up” it means to meet up. But it's also contextual it can also mean doing a favor, “I’ll hook you up with a discount at my job.”